The Light in your eyes
Causes me to arise

From a place of despair
That’s been empty and bare

I’ve known from the start
If I gave you my heart

You would rearrange
All that’s kept me encaged

O Lord You heard my cry
From your Holy place so high

You came and brought low
Yourself so I might know

The joy that can be found
As I become unbound

Now I answer Your call
Standing under your waterfall

As Your love floods my soul
I’m beginning to know

There’s nothing too lost
That You cannot restore

So I choose to fix my eyes
Upon the greatest prize

The Author and Perfecter
Jesus Christ, my Light

The chains that held me bound
Are no longer to be found

Because You’ve touched my soul
I want the world to know

That You are a God who saves
Who always comes to the aid

Of the lost and lonely, weary ones
The broken and afraid

He is the calmer of my storms, the only One who can silence the waves as they threaten to overtake me.

Nothing can touch me which does not first pass through my Father’s hand. Almighty and Victorious, Yours is the name that I praise!

Unresting, unfailing, your justice is like the mountains. High, soaring above all other powers.

You are good and your mercies endure forever, God!

Jesus Christ, you have given all of yourself. In return, I give all of me

Great Father of Glory! Great Father of Light! The splendor of your glory never ceases to amaze me. You give strength to the weary and to him who has no might, you increase it. You cause me to soar on wings like eagles, far above the storms of this life. I will wait upon You, God!

Truly, You alone are God! There is none other but You or like You in all the earth and in all the heavens.

I magnify Your Holy and Majestic name! You my God are deserving of all glory and honor.

Your ways are higher than my ways, Your thoughts are far greater than I could ever comprehend!

Faithful Father, You always go before me. Come and lead the way once again.

God has been teaching me so many things all at once I am not sure which one to highlight.

It’s been a pretty crazy year, and not even in ways I would’ve expected. I had a feeling about this year in January because God kept speaking to me about all the things He wanted to do in my life but that He needed to teach me how to be grounded in Him above all other things.

If I had to say one thing that stood out to me that I learned, I would say patient endurance.

In past years alot of my growth has been more out in the open and able to be measured by successes. This year, God has been doing more of a hidden work in my heart.

A work of learning what it means to love sacrifically, truly dying to self and staring alot of fears in the face and watching them be demolished.

I am truly grateful that God does not give up on me and that His love is unconditional and not at all reliant upon my good works. With out His love faithfully and gently pursuing my heart,  I have no idea where I would be today.

God has put so many dreams and visions in my heart, it has been most painful to have to lay those down at the feet of Jesus and say “not my will but yours be done”. For even if those never come to pass, what matters even more is that I experience the Love of Christ that passes knowledge and in return give that same love away. Without love I am nothing.
I have been unbelievably blessed by the amazing people God has placed around me in this season of my life. From the amazing children I care for, to all the friends that have stood by me and believed in me when I have had doubted God’s LOVE for me, they have been the voice of Jesus to me reminding  me over and over again.

Last night as I tried to go to sleep, I was playing a song on my iPod called “How He loves us” by John Mark McMillan. As a million memories of pain and failures flashed through my mind, I felt such thankfulness fill my heart that God never, ever gives up on us. He is faithful throughout a thousand generations and He NEVER changes His mind about us. It’s almost hard to believe but my prayer is that I would come to experience this love in more of a real way every day that I am on this earth.

My current reading material is a book by RT Kendall “Pure Joy”

It’s all about how to experience joy even in the midst of adversity and trials, and how be grateful for the challenges that God allows to come our way because through them comes growth and character is formed. I will try to blog more on this as I make my way through the book.

…………..

This week I picked up “Love as a way of Life” by Gary Chapman.

Wow, I feel very inspired and challenged … Here are the catagories:

Kindness, Patience, Forgiveness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity and Honesty

The Holy Spirit was very much speaking to me as I read these chapters and challenging me to go out of my way more often to reach out to those around me, ESPECIALLY those who have nothing to give in return,

Here in Colorado Springs, I am surrounded by military wives/mom’s most of whom have husbands deployed overseas. I don’t even know where they all came from but suddenly they are in my life and I have felt that I am supposed to reach out to them even though I am clueless without the help of the Holy Spirit’s leading.

One of those is the family I work for, I have asked God over and over to show me specific ways I can serve my boss in ways that she needs and God has been faithful to give me the grace and strength to do that.

Another one that I have not been so faithful with is a younger military wife I know, she is 22yrs old and I have found myself frustrated because she does not know Jesus and most every word that comes out of her mouth is negative and complaining. So, I started avoiding her phone calls and feeling annoyed when she called me continuely for friendship. As I read this book I realized how selfish I have been and that I was being conditional with my friendship and love for her.

I immediately called her and asked her if I could take her to breakfast yesterday. I asked her forgiveness for not being a very faithful friend and I felt God’s smile as He helped me to not only look to my needs but to reach out to someone that really needs to know Him.

Of course the scripture passage that keeps running through my mind is 1 Corinthians 13 — especially the line: …but if I have not love, I have nothing.

And love can only be found through relationship with Jesus, as He pours His love into me and I take the time to receive it from Him, I then can give away LOVE. But I am realizing that if I am not in close relationship with Jesus and try to manufacture love of my own good deeds that I will will undoubtedly burn out. I can only give away what I have been given. THEREFORE! It is vital that I am in the word, listening to the Holy Spirit and receiving so that my cup is overflowing into others lives.

John 15: 9“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.

Last night, I was driving and praying and God reminded me of the verse in Daniel 12:1-3

1“Now at that time Michael, the great prince who stands guard over the sons of your people, will arise And there will be a time of distress such as never occurred since there was a nation until that time; and at that time your people, everyone who is found written in the book, will be rescued. 2“(Many of those who sleep in the dust of the ground will awake, these to everlasting life, but the others to disgrace and everlasting contempt.

** 3“Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.**

Especially the part (and my version says “those who are WISE”) … will SHINE BRIGHTLY! I felt that God is reminding us that we need to draw close to Him and that this is OUR TIME TO SHINE! While the world is giving in to a spirit of fear we need to know who our GOD is and let the world see those who are unshakeable and who do not give in to the spirit of this age.

Later, I was reading in Phillipians and I suddenly saw the head over chapter two and it said : Shining as stars: …

Shining as Stars-Chapter Two

12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. 14Do everything without complaining or arguing,

15**so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16 as you hold out[ the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.**

17But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

I just wanted to share these things because I think it’d be really easy to get caught up with all the media stuff going ’round and join in with the panic and fear. THIS IS OUR TIME TO SHINE!

Daniel 11: 32 but the people who know their God shall prove themselves strong and shall stand firm and do exploits [for God].

Jesus, I pray that we would allow your peace to continue to guard our hearts as the chaos in the world is every increasing! God I pray that we would hide ourselves in the shadow of your wings and we thank you that nothing can touch us unless it first comes through your hands. I pray for your divine protection over each of our lives. God, cause us to come forth in boldness and courage in a world where many hearts are failing because of fear. God we will not give in to the spirit of fear but instead we will rest in your unfailing LOVE! We know that you are the victorious warrior and you are the dreaded champion who has NEVER LOST A BATTLE! Jesus! We are on your side! Amen! Love ya’ll
]]> http://soundsofheaven.wordpress.com/2008/09/26/shining-brightly/feed/ 0 Rebecca Grisham http://soundsofheaven.wordpress.com/2008/09/16/fall-is-here/ http://soundsofheaven.wordpress.com/2008/09/16/fall-is-here/#comments Tue, 16 Sep 2008 02:23:26 +0000 Rebecca http://soundsofheaven.wordpress.com/?p=47 ]]> Oh my goodness, I really really need to keep up with this blog. However, it seems to be the thing that I lag on when life is busy.

Life seems to move at a quicker pace when children are in the picture For me personally, this summer has been more amazing than I had previous anticipated, if I tried to list all the things that transpired I’d be typing all night.

One of my favorite moments every day is when I am backing out of the garage with Haley and Izzy loaded up and I ask Haley “What is one thing we do every morning on the way to school?”. And she will tell me our entire routine for the morning (breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair), then she will say “PRAY TO GOD!” ….. So I will start off praying for all of us and the family and then I ask Haley to pray. Every day I fight back my laughter at  the random things she picks to pray about. 

The other day, she started praying and said “Thank you God that if we didn’t have a house you would give us money to buy one and thank you God that if we didn’t have a car to drive to school that you would give us money to buy a new one. Today was even more funny, as I pulled up to a stop sign she said “Thank you God for stop signs so we don’t get hit by cars and thank you God for yellow lights and green lights”.  What a riot.

I am absolutely in love with these two little girls I take care of every day. This morning as I was putting Haley in her carseat she said “Rebecca, I LOVE YOU!” …. I treasure those precious moments and wonder how on earth I am so blessed!

But last week, I did something very ridiculous. Which is not unusual for anyone who knows me at all.

So, last week I was backing out of our curvy driveway thaat is a bit difficult to manuever backwards AND in a mini-van. This day though, I think I was off in la la land. As I back up I feel myself hit something and then hear a crunch and then I was COMPLETLY stuck. It was so weird I kept trying for a minute to make the van move but to no avail. As I opened my door I realized I had somehow drove over a LARGE rock in the grass (not even close to the driveway) and that we were stuck ON TOP of the rock. Instead of being upset I burst out laughing at my stupidity. Then I start looking through my cell phone contact list for a capable male I could call, of course I couldn’t find anyone that was home AND capable. SO! I call my girlfriends. They show up and start laughing too, we kept trying and could not get that sucker off of the rock!

My “much smarter than me” girlfried reminds me that a few houses down is a bunch of construction workers. I took off running down the street and ran onto the site yelling that I need help … *Seven* of them answered my call, I explained my issue and they ALL SEVEN tried to come with me!! I said “No no no!! Not ALL of you! All the neighbors will come out to see what is going on!” So two of them came. They made such fun of me when they saw the situation and said they needed all the other guys to come.

The other five showed up and now cars are lining up in my driveway to help (most of them being my female friends who were not much help ) …. Finally, a guy who spoke NO ENGLISH went to jump into the driver’s seat of the van. I totally freaked out and started yelling “My baby is in there! my baby is in there! Be careful!” But again, he spoke NO ENGLISH!…. And then he drove the car off the rock as pieces of the van are falling off.

Seriously, any pride I had left was probably destroyed during that wonderful little episode that day. None of my neighbors or their kids have let me live that scenerio down. So I have a reputation needless to say.

Fast forward: I did end up taking the van into the dealership and we covered up the damage as best as possible for a small fee. AND I did tell my boss about this situation and she is starting to get used to these type of ”accidents” happening with me around

Well more later, I have a friend’s flight coming in shortly and must run to the airport now.

I had barely opened to the page I last left off when the Holy Spirit spoke to me quickly “Go tell that lady on the other side of the pool that she needs to read this book”. I was a little taken back since I had never met her but had seen her there daily as well. Before I chickened out I quickly got off of my chair and went to where she was sitting.

Feeling a little goofy I told her, “I don’t know why but I just felt like that I need to tell you to read this book, would you be interested in reading it if I brought you a copy with me tommorow?”

She asked me what it was about and I really couldn’t even tell her since I only began it recently myself.  She agreed that she would read it if I brought it, I don’t even know what happened next but suddenly I was telling her that God is going to give her favor with a situation she has going on, and that He is extending the septor to her and no matter who fights against her they will not suceed with their attacks.

Instantly that opened the door and she proceeded to tell me of how her son was murdered a year ago, she went through a divorce in the last year, she is head over heels in debt and on and on. She said also that she has even been calling around to churches this week just looking for someone who will pray with her.

After listening for a while, I told her ” I know I am much younger than you but I would love to pray with you and spend time being a support system for you”. She agreed right away and we kept talking for at least thirty minutes. At one point she said she had chills from the things I was saying because it was exactly what she had been praying right before I walked up.

I was impacted by this encounter as well because I realized the desperate need to listen to the Holy Spirit and to immediately respond when He says to GO. Most of all I was moved with the compassion and love that I could feel God had for this lady.

Before I left I gave her a hug after she had just told me she has NO ONE at all to pray with her or even be her friend. She was so receptive to what I had to say and we are going to meet together this weekend and pray.

The Lord was reminding me after this situation that there are so many broken people just aching for someone to step out of their comfort zone, reach into their world and just show love. Truly, we are the hands and feet of Jesus and if those of us who are followers of Christ are not doing that, who will?

And most of all He was reminding me that we tend to compartmentalize  where, and when we can minister to people when probably the most effective ministry takes place in day to day routines. Going to the grocery store, hanging out with kids at the pool ect.

This week alone I have met many mothers while I am with the kids swimming, I keep seeing the same thing, people who are lonely, hungry for love, searching for someone who will show them attention. A The most bizarre part is that this club we go to is filled with people who have LOTS and LOTS of money but that isn’t answering the desires in their heart.

I am so grateful the Lord has placed me in this enviroment, and pray that He continues to lead me to be someone that can show compassion and the love of Jesus.

There was a period of time in my life as a teenager that my immune system wasn’t working like it should be. This caused many visits to the Doctors and almost as many visits to the Emergency Room. I felt extremely out of control during this time and spent far too much time resting and just trying to get my healthy back and felt like I missed out on a lot of things that “normal” people were able to do.

It seems that because of the fear I felt during that period of time, I related to hospitals and Doctors and refused to take prescription medicines for fear it’d make me even more sick.

These last two weeks I was sick with a cold that I couldn’t shake, it ended up turning into the flu and I had excessive loss of fluids due to the symptoms. Saturday night, I ended up checking myself into the ER feeling like I was going to black out and couldn’t keep anything in my stomach.

As I was being admitted, I keep wondering when I was going to feel the overwhelming fear and panic that was normal when I was in such enviroments. However all I could sense was PEACE.

In the hospital room, the Dr’s and nurses were coming in and trying to figure out what was wrong and then hooked me up to the IV’s. Again, previously I would’ve been freaking out and especially having no one I knew with me. However, I could see and feel the presence of angels in my room and felt peace and joy that didn’t make sense! I could almost audibly hear the Father’s voice. He was saying with a calm, peaceful voice: Rebecca, it’s going to be alright, you are not alone, I am with you, I am watching over you”

My mind was instantly filled with scripture such as Psalm twenty three, Romans 8:16 and then the Dr’s and nurses were repeatedly returning to my room just to talk about different ministries I’ve worked with and missions work I’ve done. They must’ve felt the peace too because they would come and sit at the end of my bed and just want to chat.

I was left alone at the end for a time and I was so overwhelmed by the presence of God that I couldn’t help but start singing worship songs (and not quietly either).

Through this event I am convinced that God is truly able to take any circumstance and turn it around into a place of peace. I believe that with the help of my God that my fear of sickness and hospitals is overcome. In it’s place is a faith and belief that God is bigger than any bill thrown at me, any sickness my body may be fighting and any fear that I feel is too big to conquer.

I ended up sleeping for almost two days straight after that event and my boss even ended up taking off of work one day so I could sleep off this bug. Also on top of that blessing my boss brought me antibiotics (they are both Dr’s.) which really seem to be helping get rid of whatever this ailment is. And even though I’ve had a lot of negative reactions to drugs in the past I had NO problems with this round. Thank you God!

Moving to Colorado has been such a great experience for me. God has blessed this transition immensely! I have experienced such favor in these past months. It’s been quite humorous but I have been able to meet MANY of my neighbors and even get to know them a bit. I live in a neighborhood filled with many influential people who are quite well off financially, but most of them are people who say they “used to go to church but don’t have time anymore” or “can’t find a church they like around here”. Since my job is working with children, I have had many opportunities already to teach the children about who Jesus is and even pray with them on a regular basis. As well as talk to their parents about having a relationship with Jesus. I feel strongly that God has placed me in this neighborhood for a purpose and am excited about the opportunity to shake our neighborhood with His love!

Even though I’m not in a “traditional ministry” right now, I am surrounded on many different levels by folks who need Jesus or at least need to get back on track having relationship with Him. And will keep speaking the things that God gives me to speak to these precious people all around me.

I work for a military family here as their nanny. The husband-Matt is getting ready to leave for Afghanistan the end of June for a 6-month tour. I am praying that God would use me to bless his wife-Liz as she plays single mom for this time. My job will be a little more intense as I take on more responsibility while he is gone. But I know that God will give me the grace and the wisdom on how I can best serve them and show the love of Jesus to this family.

More to come………

I would dare to say that this is true.

Having personally walked through the fires for a LOOOONG season, acts of kindness feel like someone applying a balm on my bruised heart.

The last few days I keep thinking of Psalm 118 “Out of my distress I called upon the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free AND in a large place” …. I keep feeling like that is taking place in my life.

While I was in South Africa a lot of the issues I was dealing with in my heart came to the surface. There was no way I could minister while keeping my heart under lock and key as to not be hurt again. So for the sake of ministry I opened my heart up again, not realizing all the pain that would come flooding out.

After long days of ministering through worship and relationship, all I could do was find a place alone and pour out my heart before God through buckets of tears and many loud questions to Him. It was extremely painful to come face to face with the pain I was carrying inside. Sometimes I felt like I could barely BREATHE with the memories that were coming up.

One of the last days while I was there I was confronted with a very difficult situation where I was legitimately wronged. However, I can look back now and see the hand of God allowing that scenerio to take place.

 It pushed me over the edge, that day I chose an open field on a piece of property to pour out my heart to God will LOUD WAILING. Thinking I was alone I didn’t even care how loudly I was sobbing. I looked up to see someone from the YWAM base approaching me, they said that had been looking for me and they had seen the pain on my face that I was dealing with. They also told me “you must not stop your tears, for God is the only one who can heal your broken heart, you MUST let the pain out and let Him in to heal you”. It was embarrassing for me but I listened and continued to let the buckets of tears fall. At one point I looked up at that person and realized that they had tears streaming down their face.

It was then I had a picture that God has never and will never abandon me. Through that person’s act of kindness and them weeping over my pain not even knowing what I was dealing with I saw “Jesus with skin on”.

After being back in the states for a couple of months now, I am seeing the fruit of the work God was doing in my heart on that ministry trip. I am experiencing a peace in my heart and a quiet confidence in the sovereignty of God that I have only tasted of before.

How do you even begin to explain the ways that God works? His ways are so “other than” and it is true that His is an “upside down kingdom”.

All I can say is that there have been a lot of pockets in my heart that have been hidden away from God for far too long. Through situations of rejection, betrayals, lies, disappointments  ect. I had unknowingly started holding back places in my heart from God, convinced that He was not trustworthy and that somehow He had let me down.

As I have chosen to begin again and give God ALL of my heart and give Him ALL of my trust I have experienced a breaking off of fear. Perfect love casts out fear and as this perfect love of God has began flooding my heart in greater measures than before, the fear is being DRIVEN out with great force.

Our God is a jealous God and a consuming fire. He will consume anything that stands in the way of love. In His mercy, He will allow difficult situations come into our life because He is the God that sees all and He sees the end result of a matter. Psalm 139 is so appropriate talking about the details that only our Father God knows about us. I look back over the last seasons of my life that have been extremely challenging, I see the wisdom of God and how the difficulties have brought much more character into my life than a life of ease and comfort would have brought.

Psalm 118: 6-8, 14 say “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side. He is among those who help me. It is better to trust and take refuge in the Lord than to put confidence in man”.

14: The Lord is my STRENGTH and my SONG. and He has become my SALVATION!

There is something powerful and freeing that comes from leaning completely on the everlasting God. We will undoubtedly more than once walk through the valley of the shadow of death in our live times. Jesus said in John that in this world we WILL have trials and tribulations BUT be of good cheer for I have overcome the world!

The freedom comes when our confidence does not come from what our circumstances look like, but when our confidence comes from trusting in a God who will never change, He cannot lie, He is always faithful to His promises towards us. Therefore, we can set our face like flint in the face of opposition and boldly declare that anything the enemy would throw into our path for harm, God can turn it into good. 

 With God, ALL THINGS are possible. I want to take Him at His word